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"Watching the Detectives" is a 1977 single by English singer-songwriter Elvis Costello. Inspired by the Clash and Bernard Herrmann, the song features a reggae beat and cynical lyrics.

Costello's fourth single overall, "Watching the Detectives" was his first hit single on any national chart, peaking at number 15 in the UK and also charting modestly in Canada, Australia and the United States. The song featured on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time at number 363.

Costello described how he wrote the song:

"I was in my flat in the suburbs of London before I was a professional musician, and I'd been up for thirty-six hours. I was actually listening to another inductee's record, the Clash's first album. When I first put it on, I thought it was just terrible. Then I played it again and I liked it better. By the end, I stayed up all night listening to it on headphones, and I thought it was great. Then I wrote "Watching the Detectives".

Costello considers "Watching the Detectives" his favourite song from the first five years of his career. He later performed the song with a big band arrangement, which he admitted was "a desecration to people who love the tenseness of the original recording", but explained that "the story that's going on, and the musical allusions in the original arrangements, relate very much to the realization of this song as an orchestral piece using the film music feeling and the swing rhythms of '50s detective shows."

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