Wiki
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Length
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“For Her” was a very difficult one to get done because it went through so many changes and it contains so many stories that are not even mine. It’s partly inspired by conversations I had with this woman I knew years ago, when she had been an intern for a film-production company, and she gave me permission to write a song about this. It’s really a song for her. To, in a roundabout way, tell her story that she’s not able to tell. It’s relevant that she started as an intern because that’s why the lyrics are, “It’s a ward’s season, the season of the ward.” She said he always talked about her like she was his “ward,” like he was there to protect her from all of Hollywood’s creeps.
It’s one of those situations where she didn’t consider it rape because of the relationship she had with this person. On top of that, this person was so fucked up that they didn’t know who she was. And so she assumed they didn’t know they had done this to her. She spent years protecting him from the knowledge of that, and in so doing, really hurt herself. She was like, “Did it really happen?” And I was like, “That sounds like it really fucking happened. What you’re describing. Yeah, that’s rape.”
That song was a very difficult one to do, because you don’t want to be too literal, but you also want to put some things in there for this woman so the guy knows she knows. Even though it’s an awkward thing to say in a song — “You raped me” — some people need to say it out loud in order to understand that’s what happened to them. And my hope is that maybe some women and men will be able to sing along with that line and allow it to tell the truth for them. Because sometimes it’s just really hard to say, especially if you don’t want to hurt the person who did it to you. It’s hard to say something that harsh about it. So even though I felt like, Wow, it’s just a clunky thing to put in the middle of a song, I also feel it’ll be important to the people it matters to.
And of course it brings up stuff of my own. It started out me wanting to write something about my own feelings, but it was just too hard. I wanted to make it about not just me but about other people. And this woman really got to me. I spent so much time recording it in different ways until I realized that I needed to have a bunch of other women singing with me on it.
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